SWR Blog Crawl: Visioning a World without Singlism – Guest Post by Rachel Buddeberg

2010 SingleWomenRule.com Blog Crawl for National Unmarried and Single Americans Week

September 19-25, 2010

Bella’s Introduction

I’m delighted to have Rachel Buddeberg crawl over to All Things Single with this wonderfully thoughtful post. Readers of this blog and of Living Single know her well from her active participation in so many of our online discussions.  I interviewed her in her role as a single-minded change agent earlier in the year, and she also contributed the guest post, Are you sure you want to call that marriage a failure? Together, Rachel and I also put together that collection of quotes from several dozen scholars weighing in on the question of whether marriage should be a ticket to privilege. (Guess what our answer is!) Her blog is Rachel’s Musings.

(more…)

How Did Singles Week Happen? Guest Post by Thomas F. Coleman

Bella’s Introduction

Did you know that every year the Census Bureau issues a press release, “Facts for Features – Unmarried and Single Americans Week”? I admit I’m easily amused, but I get a thrill every time that alert from the Census Bureau appears in my inbox. All that Singles Week has come to be, with all the mentions in the media and on the blogs (including the second annual blog crawl), didn’t just happen. Someone (or lots of someones) had to work to make it happen. There were lots of people involved, but one stands out – way out – among all the others, and that person is Thomas F. Coleman. Of all of the others who helped, I would say that about, oh, 100% of them were inspired by him. I know I was.

(more…)

Next Up: Emotional Independence

In a recent post over at Living Single, I reviewed Rachel Moran’s argument that second-wave feminism had forgotten the single woman. The focus, instead, was largely on the superwoman who could “have it all” – marriage, kids, and career.

Another significant theme from Moran’s paper was the argument that activists should turn their attention to the goal of emotional independence. First-wave feminism, she noted, was about political independence. The right to vote meant that women had their own political opinions – married women weren’t “covered” by the votes of their husbands. Second-wave feminism took on economic independence. With greater opportunities in the workplace, more women could earn their own way financially.

(more…)

Many Voices, One Question: Should the Government Privilege Married People?

[This post is co-authored by Bella DePaulo and Rachel Buddeberg.]

Same-sex marriage is advocated as a basic human right.  We applaud any expansion of human rights. Yet, as we’ve watched the debate over this issue unfold over the years, we have had some misgivings about the current approach: It seems too piecemeal. First some couples get admissions tickets to the legal benefits and protections of marriage, then the gates are opened to other kinds of couples. But why should a person have to be part of any kind of couple in order to qualify? One of us (Bella DePaulo) found some relevant arguments articulated by others and posted excerpts from them, and the other (Rachel Buddeberg) added many more. We decided to pool our efforts and continue searching.

(more…)

Coupling Wasn’t Always So Intensive: Notes from a Social Historian

Over at my Living Single blog at Psychology Today, I asked this question: The rise of the couple and demise of all the rest: How did this happen? In the comments section, readers engaged in a wonderfully thoughtful and substantive discussion.  Several people described or asked about specific references (thanks!), so I thought I would share some highlights from my favorite one.

(more…)

“Acting Single” – Here’s What a CNN Columnist Thinks It Means

A CNN relationships columnist told the story of coming home from work after a bad day, and telling her boyfriend that it was nothing, just a work matter, when he noticed her distress. He wanted to hear about her no good, very bad day, and told her, “If you’re going to be in a relationship, you need to stop acting like you are single or you will end up single.”

(more…)