New Things and Favorite Things
Praise for Single at Heart
“Bella DePaulo writes with characteristic panache and passion about the rewards of flying solo. I read Single at Heart—as I read her previous work—with delight and a frequent chuckle, at her wit, her good cheer, and her irrepressible joy in life and love. I took deep pleasure from her authoritative, no-nonsense reinforcement of what I already knew to be true in my heart: The essential role solitaries play in building and sustaining healthy, fully realized -communities. Brava!” —Fenton Johnson, author, At the Center of All Beauty: Solitude and the Creative Life
“If you need a break from all the cultural chatter coming at you 24-7 insisting that you can’t really be happy if you’re single, Bella DePaulo’s new book Single at Heart is a must-read. In addition to Bella’s own story, it’s filled with the voices of real people from all over the world who are leading authentic, rewarding, joy-filled lives outside “the couple norm,” which is a term I didn’t realize I needed until I read this book. As a lifelong single person, I started out, pen in hand, ready to underline and highlight and put a ton of exclamation marks in the margins – and then very quickly I realized that I was going to have to underline the whole book.” —Gina Fattore, novelist and TV writer, author of The Spinster Diaries and writer-producer on Dawson’s Creek, Gilmore Girls, and Parenthood
“Single At Heart: The Power, Freedom and Heart-filling Joy of Single Life brilliantly outlines what it means to NOT look at singlehood as an unpleasant illness that you just need a good partner to cure you of. Through countless personal stories and sociological research gleaned over ten years, DePaulo has drawn the fullest and most accurate portrait of ME I have ever read. Though I’ve written in the single and childfree by choice space for much of my 48 years, I’ve struggled to ground my writing in more than just my personal experiences. Thanks to Single at Heart, I now have the data to back up what I’ve always experienced as an undervalued lifestyle choice tainted with social stigma by the coupled and the single alike. Single At Heart astutely details how those of us who choose not to give into the cultural conditioning that marriage is, by default, the best way to do adulthood are forced to climb over structural obstacles that many refuse to admit are unjust and inequitable. This is the book I’ve waited for since I was 19 years old and longed for someone to assure me I wasn’t abnormal for not seeing marriage as a prize and romantic partnership as nirvana.” –Keturah Kendrick, author of No Thanks: Black, Female, and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone
“Masterfully dismantling age-old misconceptions about singlehood, Bella DePaulo reveals in this book the vibrant, authentic lives of those ‘single at heart.’ This book is a powerful reminder that living single isn’t a compromise for many people, but a profound, deeply fulfilling life path.” –Elyakim Kislev, author of Happy Singlehood: The Rising Acceptance and Celebration of Solo Living
“Bella DePaulo isn’t just a powerhouse, she’s a lighthouse. She reveals what the Couples Industrial Complex don’t want you to know. More power to her for chipping away at reductive and fundamentally baseless single stigmas. We need more luminaries like her.” —Catherine Gray, author of The Unexpected Joy of Being Single
“Bella DePaulo has unparalleled perspective and insight into singlehood. In this book, DePaulo compellingly shows what it means to be single at heart, bringing together years of research and personal experience. Single at Heart is for those who are single at heart—and for those who are not.” —Naomi Cahn, University of Virginia School of Law and author of Red Families V. Blue Families
“Single at Heart is the book society needs to finally stop believing that singlehood is a stop along the way to happiness. This book is so heartfelt and helpful—for everyone, regardless of their relationship status. It’s a compassionate book about how to find happiness within oneself.” –Ginny Hogan, author of I’m More Dateable than a Plate of Refried Beans
“Authors who question the marriage principle face the same question, even from sympathetic interviewers: aren’t there “hundreds of studies” proving that matrimony bolsters health and happiness? Not so much. Bella DePaulo has spent twenty years interrogating this claim — cutting through manipulated statistics and slipshod methodology like a hot knife through butter. She’s shown that marriage – and romantic coupling in general – offer no panaceas for health and contentment. DePaulo’s most personal monograph, Single at Heart continues her brilliant takedown of pop-psychology’s insistence on wedlock as a prophylactic against just about everything bad. This book goes deeper by exploring the benefits of living without a romantic partner as the epicenter of one’s life. Myriad men and women interviewed describe the benefits and pleasures: freedom to manage one’s time and finances; privacy; pursuing meaningful work; discarding convention in favor of a life based on conscious priorities; dedication to important causes; investment in community; commitment to “intentional” friendship networks that include cohabitation…the list goes on. Anyone who is immersed in the uncoupled life, who is somewhat single at heart, or who cares about someone single at heart must read this pathfinding book.” –Professor Jaclyn Geller, author of Moving Past Marriage: Why We Should Ditch Marital Privilege, End Relationship-Status Discrimination, and Embrace Nonmarital History
By Bella DePaulo
From New York magazine: “I haven’t come across many psych researchers who are better and more engaging at discussing their research than DePaulo is“.
New and Noteworthy
Bella DePaulo’s new book, SINGLE AT HEART, will be published in 2023. It will also be translated into Spanish and sold in Spanish-speaking countries.
“Single and flourishing: Transcending the deficit narratives of single life,” by Bella DePaulo, was published in the Journal of Family Theory & Review in 2023.
The rising trend of living solo, featuring Bella DePaulo as the expert, aired on Sinclair TV stations on July 11, 2023.
Bella DePaulo was interviewed for this CNN podcast. Find her at minutes 24-31.
On this Atlantic podcast, Bella DePaulo talks about being Single at Heart with a skeptic, Olga Khazan. Made it onto the most Popular list soon after it was posted.
Bella DePaulo was featured in this very popular article in the Atlantic, The hidden costs of living alone.
Reflections on 50 years of living single and why anniversaries and other celebrations are not just for couples: It’s my Golden Anniversary!
NBC News published Bella DePaulo’s article about how people who are single at heart have been doing well during the pandemic, contrary to all stereotypes: Singles are supposedly miserable and lonely. Actually, some of us are thriving.
Professor DePaulo gave the keynote address at a landmark online conference, “Singles Studies: Global Perspectives,” on October 10, 2020. Here it is: Changing Thinking, Changing Language, Changing Lives: The Power and Promise of Singles Studies.
Bella DePaulo’s TEDx talk, “What no one ever told you about people who are single,” has now been viewed more than 1.6 million times.
For the cover story of the March 2020 issue of the Atlantic magazine, David Brooks wrote about the nuclear family. As a follow-up, the magazine invited Bella DePaulo to discuss the many different ways we live now: If the nuclear family has failed, what comes next?
Bella DePaulo published this myth-busting article in the Atlantic, “Single People Aren’t to Blame for the Loneliness Epidemic.”
On May 25, 2017, Bella DePaulo’s op-ed, “Get married, get healthy? Maybe not,” was published in the New York Times.
“I study liars. I’ve never seen one like President Trump.” is Bella DePaulo’s op-ed, published in the Washington Post on December 8, 2017. (It is probably the most popular article she has ever written. It also attracted the most hate mail.)
Bella DePaulo’s invited address at the meeting of the American Psychological Association in August 2016, “What No One Ever Told You About People Who Are Single,” attracted a standing-room-only crowd and “caused something of an internet earthquake.”
“More people than ever before are single — and that’s a good thing” is an article Bella DePaulo wrote for The Conversation on April 23, 2017. It immediately shot to the top of the list of “Most Read” articles and stayed there for days. It was republished by dozens of magazines and newspapers, in the U.S. and around the world. (It was particularly popular in Australia.)
Stories in the media about Bella DePaulo and her writings on single life are here.