Other DePaulo Writings on Singlehood

ANTHOLOGY ESSAY • OP-ED ESSAYS • ONLINE CONTRIBUTIONS • SCHOLARLY PAPERS

ANTHOLOGY ESSAY

"Single All the Way," essay by Bella DePaulo in the anthology, Single State of the Union, edited by Diane Mapes. Seal Press, 2007.

OP-ED ESSAYS

New York Times, “Sex and the Single Voter,” June 18, 2004

This should be my moment. I'm a single woman, and at last, the political world has discovered me. People in my
demographic, it has been reported, stayed away from the
2000 presidential election in droves, and wow, could we
have made a difference if we had shown up. Click here to continue reading...

Newsday, “Living Single, Seeing Double,” November 21, 2004

In a country that has lived through decades of struggles over civil rights and has an organization for almost any cause, there remains a group of 86 million Americans who are practically invisible. They are in cities and towns coast to coast, adults of all sizes, shapes and ages. Yet except as nubile mate-seekers in TV shows like "Sex and the City" or "The Bachelor," they are hardly ever noticed in the news, in popular culture or in policy debates. They are people who are single. Click here to continue reading...

San Francisco Chronicle, "Single Americans Are Hardly Flying Solo," January 14, 2007 (with Kay Trimberger)

Chronicle of Higher Education, "Make Room for Singles in Teaching and Research," September 28, 2007 (with Rachel F. Moran and Kay Trimberger)

ONLINE CONTRIBUTIONS

Huffington Post essays:

See all of Bella DePaulo's Huffington Post contributions here.

The Atlantic Magazine Tells Single Women to Settle -- And Now! Here's What I Say

Valentine's Day Advice -- No, Not THAT Kind!

What's best for LIVING single, not just becoming unsingle?

"Microtrends": Are Single Women One of Them?

In Praise of Single Mothers: Here's What They Do Right

The Marilyn Quayle Moment

Laura Bush Gives Condi Rice "The Singles Treatment," and Only Keith Olbermann Notices

How O.J. Killed My Book

The New Face and Voice of the Nation

Discrimination at an Elite Resort

Want to Win Elections? Talk to Single People

Marriage Odds: Who Cares? (Newsweek is Still Wrong)

Let's Talk Taxes

Is Harriet Miers a Comma? Anita Hill Thinks Not

Why Do Married Couples Have More Money? (comment on Washington Post "Numbers Drop for the Married with Children")

Passionate Pursuit

Here We Go Again: CNN on Working Women

Living Single blog for Psychology Today:

Read my Psychology Today blogs here.

Alternet essays:

Ditching the Lipstick-and-Panties Pitch

What's Wrong with Staying Single?

Contribution to Happen magazine:

Are you single...and LOVING IT?

American Sexuality Magazine, featured article:

Single and Happy: It's the Norm, Not the Exception

Guest Blogs

Blogs on single women's friendships are here and here.

Blogs on singlism in the workplace.

SCHOLARLY PAPERS

DePaulo, B. M., & Morris, W. L. (2005). Singles in society and in science. Psychological Inquiry, 16, 57-83.

DePaulo, B. M., & Morris, W. L. (2006). Should singles and the scholars who study them make their mark or stay in their place? Psychological Inquiry, 16, 142-149.

Morris, W. L., DePaulo, B. M., Hertel, J., & Taylor, L. C. (in press). Singlism -- another problem that has no name: Prejudice, stereotyping, and discrimination against singles. In T. G. Morrison & M. A. Morrison (Eds.), The psychology of modern prejudice. Hauppauge, NY: Nova Science Publishers.

Morris, W. L., Sinclair, S., & DePaulo, B. M. (2007). No shelter for singles: The perceived legitimacy of  marital status discrimination. Group Processes and Intergroup Relations, 10, 457-470.

DePaulo, B. M., & Morris, W. L. (2006). The unrecognized stereotyping and discrimination against people who are single. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 15, 251-254.

Hertel, J., Schutz, A., DePaulo, B. M., Morris, W. L., & Stucke, T. S. (2007). She’s single, so what? How are singles perceived compared to people who are in a romantic relationship? Journal of Family Research, 19, 139-158. (In German and English)

Morris, W. L., & DePaulo, B. M. (in press). Singlehood. In H. Reis and S. Sprecher (Eds.), Encyclopedia of Human Relationships. Sage Publications.

Singles in Society and in Science
Bella M. DePaulo and Wendy L. Morris
We suggest that adults who are single in contemporary American society are targets of stereotyping, prejudice, and discrimination, a phenomenon we will call singlism. Singlism is an outgrowth of a largely uncontested set of beliefs, the Ideology of Marriage and Family. Its premises include the assumptions that the sexual partnership is the one truly important peer relationship and that people who have such partnerships are happier and more fulfilled than those who do not. We use published claims about the greater happiness of people who are married to illustrate how the scientific enterprise seems to be influenced by the ideology. We propose that people who are single–particularly women who have always been single–fare better than the ideology would predict because they do have positive, enduring, and important interpersonal relationships. The persistence of singlism is especially puzzling considering that actual differences based on civil (marital) status seem to be qualified and small, the number of singles is growing, and sensitivity to other varieties of prejudice is acute. By way of explanation, we consider arguments from evolutionary psychology, attachment theory, a social problems perspective, the growth of the cult of the couple, and the appeal of an ideology that offers a simple and compelling worldview.

[This paper is the target article in Psychological Inquiry, 2005, 16, 57-83. Contact Bella DePaulo at depaulo@psych.ucsb.edu for a copy.]

Should Singles and the Scholars Who Study Them Make Their Mark or Stay in Their Place?
Bella M. DePaulo and Wendy L. Morris

[This paper is a response to 10 commentaries written by other scholars to our target article, “Singles in Society and in Science.” The target article, the commentaries, and this response are published together in Psychological Inquiry, 2005, 16, 142-147. Contact Bella DePaulo at depaulo@psych.ucsb.edu for a copy. There is no formal abstract printed with this response. Below is an excerpt from the paper. It is from a section addressing the question of whether discrimination against singles is really so bad, and whether singles really should be considered a stigmatized group.]

Here is another way to approach the question, “To what level must the negative experiences of singles sink before singles are taken seriously by scholars of stigma?” It is a reversal-of-fortune thought experiment. How long would married people put up with their experiences, and how long would it take social scientists to include them as members of a stigmatized group, if their lives included the following:

• Every time you get married, you have to give expensive presents to single people.
• When you travel with your spouse, you have to pay more than when you travel alone.
• When you tell people you are married, they tilt their heads and say things like, “aaaawwww,” or, “don’t worry honey, your turn to divorce will come.”
• You get paid less than single people for the same work.
• Single people can add another adult to their health care plan; you can’t.
• When you go looking for a house, you get directed instead to apartments or condos.
• When you browse the bookstores, you see shelves bursting with titles such as “If I’m So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Married,” and “How to Ditch Your Husband After Age 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School.”
• Moreover, no one thinks there is anything wrong with any of this.

We could go on and on, but you probably get the point. Our critics are right. None of this adds up to getting dragged to your death at the back of a pickup truck. However, we bet our annual salaries that married citizens would scream bloody murder if these kinds of things routinely happened to them.

The Unrecognized Stereotyping and Discrimination Against People Who Are Single

Bella M. DePaulo and Wendy L. Morris

A widespread form of bias has slipped under our cultural and academic radar. People who are single are targets of singlism: negative stereotypes and discrimination. Compared to married or coupled people who are described in very positive terms, singles are assumed to be immature, maladjusted, and self-centered. Although the perceived differences between people who have and have not married are large, the actual differences are not. Moreover, there is currently scant recognition that singlism exists, and when singlism is acknowledged, it is often accepted as legitimate.

[This paper appeared in October, 2006. For a copy, contact Bella M. DePaulo at depaulo@psych.ucsb.edu.]

She’s single, so what? How are singles perceived compared to people who are married?
Janine Hertel, Astrid Schutz, Bella M. DePaulo, Wendy L. Morris, and Tanja S. Stucke

Over the past few decades, relationship patterns have become more diverse. Besides classical marriage we find cohabitation, romantic partners living apart, and same-sex couples. Furthermore, single people have become an important and intensely discussed segment of society. Due to the increasing plurality of living arrangements, one might assume that stereotypes about singles have changed over the years. Our study shows that people in romantic relationships are generally still seen more positively than singles, i.e. singles were seen as more lonely, less warm and caring than coupled people. However, some positive features are ascribed to singles, too. Importantly, characteristics of the perceiver moderate his or her perceptions. Some groups rated single people as more sophisticated and sociable than coupled people.

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Singled Out, click here.