[Bella’s intro: Recently, a retired Navy veteran, Roger Morris, wrote to say that while he believed there was some singlism in the Navy, he also thought there were advantages to being a Navy single. I asked if he would elaborate on his perspective and share his wisdom with “All Things Single (and More)” readers and he very kindly agreed. In fact, he has so much to say that I’m presenting his essay in two parts. This is the first. Many thanks to you, Roger Morris, for the time you took to do this important research and writing. By the way, readers, see all that red on the map image accompanying this post? It shows all the places Roger Morris has been!]
[Bella’s intro: I do not know Laura Backes, but when she sent me this essay, I liked it and thought some “All Things Single (and More)” readers would appreciate it as well. For future reference, though, I will reiterate the point I have often made that I especially welcome posts that speak both to single women and single men.
I do like this topic, and Laura Backes has inspired me to reprint my own take on “having it all” – an excerpt from Singled Out. I’ll post that sometime soon. (Here it is. I posted it at my “Single at Heart” blog at PsychCentral.) I hope others will also share what “having it all” or a sense of balance means to them.]
A Balanced Woman
By Laura Backes
Sitting in my favorite chair, sipping a cup of dark roast, I realized my 59th birthday is three months away. After a moment of terror, I fell into thinking about my life so far and where 58 years has “brought” me: I am approaching 60, was laid-off 6 months ago, I’m unattached, and starting my fifth career. The only constant in my life I could come up with, the one thread tying the patchwork pieces together, is depression.
“Wow,” I said to my cats, “the pinnacle of almost six decades of living! I never could have imagined.” Then, I did what anyone in this situation would do, I laughed. I don’t know what else to do with life sometimes. Besides, though my pinnacle of achievement is not as stupendous as I thought it would be by now, I’m happy (when I’m not depressed).
What’s happening? Two things – National Singles Week (Sunday September 18 – Saturday September 24) and the new website that will aggregate feeds from enlightened singles blogs, provide resources, and more. I’d love to have a few words of wisdom from readers to include in a blog post to run during Singles Week, and I welcome one more round of feedback on the name and contents of the new site.
A reader sent me this story (below) and agreed to let me share it with you as long as I omitted identifying information. Any suggestions?
There is a possible television documentary series about single women in the works. If it happens, it will air during Women’s History Month. The series will be based on Nika Beamon’s book, I Didn’t Work This Hard Just to Get Married: Successful Single Black Women Speak Out, discussed here. The producers are interested in stories from White, Asian, and Latina women, too.