[Bella’s intro: In Singled Out, I wrote a section called “The Command Team Wears Wedding Bands,” in which I described instances of singlism (stereotyping, stigmatizing, and discrimination against singles) in the military. Retired Navy veteran Roger Morris read the book and got in touch, saying that although he agrees that there is some singlism in the Navy, he also thinks there are important ways in which the Navy is a pretty great place to be single. I invited him to share his views and he did so here and here. Then, just recently, another single sailor got in touch with me about his own experiences and views of singlism in the Navy. I invited him to share his perspective, and that’s what you can read in this post. He wishes not to be identified so I’m just calling him “guest blogger.” Thank-you, guest blogger!
As if all of those singles-bashing “why are you still single” lists are not bad enough, there’s more. I just learned that there is a traveling road show addressing the question, “Why is everyone still single” – as if that’s a bad thing.
My primary interest is in people who are single. Marital status (or coupled status) is a separate issue from parental status. You can be single with kids or married with no kids. I know that’s obvious but the two are conflated all the time. In this post, I want to focus on the “no kids” part.
Now that solo living is becoming increasingly popular around the world, we know much more about it than we did before. Below is what I have written on the topic so far. You may also want to take a look at the chapter on living alone in How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century.
Psychology journals are overflowing with articles about loneliness, and have been for decades. Recently, scholars are starting to study solitude, in the sense of the positive aspects of being alone. Take a look at what we know so far. Also take a look at Alone: The badass psychology of people who like being alone.
In writing about single life, one topic that comes up especially often is friendship. Below are links to some of my blog posts on (1) the importance of friendship; (2) whether single people get ditched when their friends marry; (3) making friends; (4) breaking up with friends; (5) how friendship is erased and distorted; and (6) other friendship themes.
I have also published a collection of my academic papers on friendship. It is called Friendsight: What Friends Know that Others Don’t.