[This post is co-authored by Bella DePaulo and Rachel Buddeberg.]
Same-sex marriage is advocated as a basic human right. We applaud any expansion of human rights. Yet, as we’ve watched the debate over this issue unfold over the years, we have had some misgivings about the current approach: It seems too piecemeal. First some couples get admissions tickets to the legal benefits and protections of marriage, then the gates are opened to other kinds of couples. But why should a person have to be part of any kind of couple in order to qualify? One of us (Bella DePaulo) found some relevant arguments articulated by others and posted excerpts from them, and the other (Rachel Buddeberg) added many more. We decided to pool our efforts and continue searching.
[UPDATE: Thanks to Random.org, the 3 winners of the Dexter book have now been selected. Look at the 3 comments posted by me on 9/07/2010 to see if you are named as a winner. Thanks, everyone, for your interest. Also, check out this new post about Dexter and the loner stereotype.]
It’s true. A TV show about a serial killer is one of my favorite shows of all time. Dexter is the killer, but lest you think I’m a monster for adoring him (maybe you’re not familiar with the show?), let me hasten to add that Dexter only kills those who deserve it. They are the truly evil criminals who outsmarted everyone else or got off on technicalities.
Over at my Living Single blog at Psychology Today, I asked this question: The rise of the couple and demise of all the rest: How did this happen? In the comments section, readers engaged in a wonderfully thoughtful and substantive discussion. Several people described or asked about specific references (thanks!), so I thought I would share some highlights from my favorite one.
Responding to a post I wrote on Aug 7, Get government out of the marriage business?, Christian Miller sent me some detailed and thoughtful documents describing his own perspective on the issue. When I inquired further, I was impressed to learn that Christian has engaged others in correspondence about the matter, including the ACLU and people from the religious community and the GLBT community. I then asked if he would write something I could share with readers of this blog. Happily, he agreed. Here’s what he wrote:
Even though I’ve been a research psychologist for my entire adult life, I have to admit that I had forgotten something significant about Erik Erikson and his stage theory. I was reminded of it while reading Robin Marantz Henig’s story in the New York Times Magazine titled, “What is it about 20-somethings?” Here’s the relevant excerpt: