You know that scare story about how if you are single, you will grow old alone? My fear is that I WON’T grow old alone! I don’t mean that I want to be socially isolated. Like so many other single people, I have friends and family, and I don’t expect that to change. I also don’t mean that I’m worried about not living long enough to grow old, though I do have bad longevity genes. (My mother died at 71 and my father at 64. They were married for more than four decades, so don’t blame their short lives on singlehood!)
In a recent post over at Living Single, I reviewed Rachel Moran’s argument that second-wave feminism had forgotten the single woman. The focus, instead, was largely on the superwoman who could “have it all” – marriage, kids, and career.
Another significant theme from Moran’s paper was the argument that activists should turn their attention to the goal of emotional independence. First-wave feminism, she noted, was about political independence. The right to vote meant that women had their own political opinions – married women weren’t “covered” by the votes of their husbands. Second-wave feminism took on economic independence. With greater opportunities in the workplace, more women could earn their own way financially.
[This post is co-authored by Bella DePaulo and Rachel Buddeberg.]
Same-sex marriage is advocated as a basic human right. We applaud any expansion of human rights. Yet, as we’ve watched the debate over this issue unfold over the years, we have had some misgivings about the current approach: It seems too piecemeal. First some couples get admissions tickets to the legal benefits and protections of marriage, then the gates are opened to other kinds of couples. But why should a person have to be part of any kind of couple in order to qualify? One of us (Bella DePaulo) found some relevant arguments articulated by others and posted excerpts from them, and the other (Rachel Buddeberg) added many more. We decided to pool our efforts and continue searching.
[UPDATE: Thanks to Random.org, the 3 winners of the Dexter book have now been selected. Look at the 3 comments posted by me on 9/07/2010 to see if you are named as a winner. Thanks, everyone, for your interest. Also, check out this new post about Dexter and the loner stereotype.]
It’s true. A TV show about a serial killer is one of my favorite shows of all time. Dexter is the killer, but lest you think I’m a monster for adoring him (maybe you’re not familiar with the show?), let me hasten to add that Dexter only kills those who deserve it. They are the truly evil criminals who outsmarted everyone else or got off on technicalities.
Over at my Living Single blog at Psychology Today, I asked this question: The rise of the couple and demise of all the rest: How did this happen? In the comments section, readers engaged in a wonderfully thoughtful and substantive discussion. Several people described or asked about specific references (thanks!), so I thought I would share some highlights from my favorite one.