In the comments section of this post over at Living Single, one of the people commenting voiced the myth that I spent an entire chapter of Singled Out debunking. I call it “Single-minded” – the myth that “you are interested in just one thing – getting coupled.” (It’s in quotes because it is the subtitle of Chapter 4.)
“They say any fool can get married but it takes a devilish clever woman to remain an old maid.”
Renowned author and life-long single woman Stella Miles Franklin put those words into the mouth of the heroine of one of her many novels. Franklin was born in 1879, and Australia’s most prestigious literary prize was named for her.
A CNN relationships columnist told the story of coming home from work after a bad day, and telling her boyfriend that it was nothing, just a work matter, when he noticed her distress. He wanted to hear about her no good, very bad day, and told her, “If you’re going to be in a relationship, you need to stop acting like you are single or you will end up single.”
Years ago, here in Santa Barbara, I went to a debate about same-sex marriage between Jonathan Rauch and Maggie Gallagher. Rauch, author of Gay marriage: Why it is good for gays, good for straights, and good for America, of course took the pro side. If the name Maggie Gallagher is, to you, an infamous one, then you already know that she opposes same-sex marriage.
As I remember the event, early on, Rauch posed a question to the audience: How many believe the government should simply get out of the marriage business? A fair number of hands went up. He said, in some polite way – forget about it; that will never happen.