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My Monthly Column for Unmarried Equality

UE image

I’m delighted to announce that, as of April of 2015, I am now writing a monthly column for Unmarried Equality (UE), an advocacy group that has been “standing up for fairness and equal treatment of all people regardless of marital status since 1998.”

I’ll post the links to those columns here, with the most recent ones on top. At the UE site, the column is called “Bella’s Blog.”

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If You Are Single, Is There a Place for You in Your Place of Worship?

churches, for religion collectionSome years back, there was a time when I was getting so many comments and emails from single people who were not feeling welcome in their places of worship that I started a series of posts on the topic. I wrote an introduction to the series, and then each post after that began with the question, “Which religions are welcoming to singles?” and continued with the answers from a particular religion. I didn’t write anything but the introduction – I don’t have the expertise. Instead, I invited people with expertise in different religions to answer some of the questions that readers of my Singled Out book and my Psychology Today blog had been asking me. As you will see below, I got answers from people with expertise in Judaism, Christian ministries, and Catholicism.

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What We Really Know About Single Life

Marriage_vs._Single__Cover_for_Kindle, 2-28-15The_Science_of_Marri_Cover_for_Kindle, 2-28-15

 

 

 

Every time I learn about a new claim that getting married makes people happier or healthier or more connected or live longer (and all the rest), I go to the original research report to see what the findings really did say. The media — and sadly, many social scientists — routinely get it wrong. No, getting married does not cause  you to become lastingly happier or healthier or better off in any way than if you stayed single (well, you do get more money because of all the laws and practices that benefit married people and discriminate against singles).

Here (below), you can find links to all my critiques of these studies. I’ll keep adding more as new claims hit the media that I need to debunk. I’ve also put together 2 books of my writings explaining why all those Marriage Wins claims are so wrong. Marriage vs. Single Life: How Science and the Media Got It So Wrong includes a chapter previously available only in an expensive edited volume, a new paper that is the most powerful and comprehensive explanation of what the research does and does not show about the implications of getting married, plus 39 other brief chapters (many from my blogs). Because I think that new powerful and comprehensive paper is so important, I have made it into a stand-alone book (together with an introduction) in The Science of Marriage: What We Know That Just Isn’t So. (Both are available both as paperbacks and as ebooks. You can read more about them here.) My first book, Singled Out, also includes discussions and explanations of what’s wrong with the claims of married people’s superiority.

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More Than You Wanted to Know about What I’m Up to Now and What’s Next

Marriage_vs._Single__Cover_for_Kindle, 2-28-15I haven’t posted an update in a while, so making up for all that elapsed time, here is more than you ever wanted to know about what I’m up to now and what I’m planning to do next.

There are 7 sections:

  1. The latest on How We Live Now
  2. New Collection – Marriage vs. Single Life: How Science and the Media Got It So Wrong – and a Stand-Alone Chapter from It
  3. Kindle Countdown Deals on Amazon
  4. More Translations of More of My Books
  5. Coming Soon: Courses on Udemy
  6. My Next Collection: Family in the Lives of Single People
  7. The Next Book of Original Research and Writing

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Check Your Marital Privilege

checklist[This article is co-authored – in alphabetical order – by Lisa Arnold, Rachel Buddeberg, Christina Campbell, and Bella DePaulo. We are cross-posting it on all of our blogs.]

“White privilege” and “male privilege” are familiar concepts in our cultural conversations. There is, however, another vast swath of unearned privileges that have gone largely unrecognized, even though they unfairly advantage about half of the adult population in the United States. We’re talking about marital privileges. People who marry enjoy social, cultural, economic, and political advantages that single people do not, simply because they are married.

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