Divorce is one experience that brings a mixture of feelings for an individual who is going through it. It may bring a positive result for some but for most, it has a negative impact. Anger, frustration, anxiety, misunderstanding, miscommunication, and pain are a few of the major negative energies that can steer a marriage into divorce. Couples end up realizing that a separation from each other is the only solution that can end the constant disagreements between them.
Starting a single life after a divorce is never going to be easy as you have no idea what could possibly happen and how will you be able to start a new chapter of your life. Fear of starting over may overcome you and there will be questions that you ask yourself. It may be wise to seek some divorce counseling or from a professional divorce coach when seeking insights about living a single life.
The process of divorce does not just revolve between you and your partner as it may also affect your family and friends. When getting a divorce, you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse divide everything you own, even the custody of your children, if you have any.
But how about all the supportive mutual friends you have? Do you divide them, too? Are you going to be the ones who will pick which people should stay on your side and which ones you should let go? But does your divorce also affect your mutual friends? What should you do if your friends choose sides?
These questions are some of the ones people ask post-divorce. In this article, dealing with mutual friends will be discussed as well as the effects that ending your marriage can have on your social circle.
How Does Divorce Affect Your Mutual Friends?
Having mutual friends is not something you can avoid, especially when you met these people when you and your ex-spouse were still married. But good things may come to an end with some friends when you decided to get a divorce as a permanent solution to your ongoing problems in your marriage. Because your divorce does not only affect you and your spouse as it can also can cause some difficulties and feelings of uncertainty in your mutual friends. So, how does your divorce affect them?
Here are some of the things that your mutual friends may feel or go through during or after your divorce:
- The feeling of awkwardness
Your mutual friends may experience feeling awkward or find it difficult to interact with you and your ex, without creating any differences. Some of them may have some hesitations and some may tiptoe around you to avoid connecting on a sensitive topic.
- Being neutral between you and your ex may be difficult
Some of your mutual friends may want to stay neutral between you and your ex as they consider you both as people worth keeping in their lives. But this may not be easy as they may feel pressured into keeping a balanced friendship with both parties and that may not be possible if it is extremely heated between you and your ex-partner
- Social gatherings or events that involve both parties may change
After the divorce, it is quite inevitable to go through changes in social gatherings, and your mutual friends may have a difficult experience in such events. It is expected that one of the parties may not be present as he/she may try to avoid the other.
- Your divorce may also affect the marriage of your friends
This one is vital as according to research. Your divorce may help cause a high percentage of your friends’ marriages to also end. Divorce is quite a “contagious disease” in the sense that it causes couples to reevaluate their own relationships and it may spread among your circle of friends.
How are you going to deal or interact with your mutual friends post-divorce?
During the time of your marriage, both of you may have developed real bonds with people and you share them as your friends. Try to respect that both of you have a connection to your friends and both of you may be going to them for personal support. So it can be a challenge and do not hesitate to talk to a professional 3rd party removed from the situation to bring some more scope into the equation.
Not everyone is civil enough to stay on good terms and keep all mutual friends around peacefully. It may be best to avoid any negative experiences with your social circle and not bring multiple parties into the dispute between you and your ex-partner if possible. Here are a few tips on how you may be able to do that.
- Talk to your ex-spouse first. It is better to have a civilized talk with your ex-spouse regarding your mutual friends for you both to be able to understand how you want your social life to work and avoid any awkward moments. It may also be good for you both to agree on which of your shared friends you would want to keep the most.
- Both you and your ex-spouse must be prepared for losing some of your friends as it is quite possible that some of them may prefer to take sides and stay friends with just one party.
- As it is expected for both you and your ex-spouse to prefer not seeing each other on social events, you may want to agree on some rules regarding that.
- It also vital for you to reach out and communicate with your mutual friends and be sensitive about their feelings about your divorce. Talk to them and understand the possible changes in your friendships.
- Try your best to be flexible with your mutual friends and understand it can be hard conversation even with your friends.
Are there any recommendations on how to go through and overcome the struggles of divorce easily?
The process of getting over your divorce may be difficult and you may want an easy and fast guide on how to get through it and start living a new, happy chapter of your life. Naked Divorce is a divorce program headed by Adele Théron a world renown divorce coach who helps you get over your divorce and offers you guides on how to handle the situation and overcome it.